Confluence Center for
Mediation & Training

Mary Forst Associates

 

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~~  Tips and Ideas  ~~

Most people have heard of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

In mediation, we often hear that one or both parties has followed the golden rule with the best of intentions, yet has gotten a negative reaction from the other person.

Why is this? The recipient of the "golden rule" action explains that they wanted something quite different.

From experiences like this, the "platinum rule" has evolved: "Do unto others as THEY would have you do unto them."

In other words, don't assume that others want what you want, or that what works for you will work for them.

Following the "platinum rule" means checking with the other person about what they want, and listening attentively so that you understand them.

Once you understand, it may be necessary to communicate your own views and needs. If there are significant differences between you, take the time to understand each other's underlying goals and needs.

When you understand each other, then let your negotiations begin!

 

 

  

Confluence Center for
Mediation & Training

15500-H NW Ferry Road
Portland OR 97231-1355
(503) 504-4248
mcforst@confluencecenter.com
The URL for this site is http://www.ConfluenceCenter.com


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